The Maned Wolf: Terrifying Yet Sweet?

The maned wolf's top speed is 75 kph (about 46 mph), or for Americans, 2,952,757.5 Big Macs per hour. The average adult weight is 23 kg (50 lbs), or for Americans, 25 fully loaded Glock 17s. Now, this thing is quite honestly terrifying.

When I first looked at animals to write about, I saw a little picture that looked cool and saw the name "maned wolf." I thought, "That's a pretty cool-sounding animal." But then I saw a full picture, and this thing genuinely terrifies me. I don't completely know what it is—maybe it's the insanely long legs or the fact that it's almost twice as fast as Usain Bolt.

Not as Scary as They Seem

They may look terrifying, but like most animals, they aren't very aggressive unless they feel threatened. Sadly, the population has been decreasing. While they aren’t classified as endangered, they are considered a near-threatened species.

The more I research these guys, the more I start to feel bad for them. Their diet consists of 50% invertebrates, birds, reptiles, and mammals such as rodents and small deer. The other 50%? Random fruit. And what gets me the most is that they have a sweet tooth for sugarcane. So, maybe they aren’t so bad after all. You know what they say: you are what you eat. So these guys may just be sweet after all—well, 50%, that is. The other 50%? That’s all in their looks.

Maned Wolves and Their Love Lives

Another fun fact: they mate for life. Maned wolves are monogamous and will share a territory, but only come together during the mating season, from November to April. During this time, they find a den to house the pups. The males protect the den while the pups are being born.

The "Fox" That Isn't a Fox

Although the maned wolf looks a lot like a fox, it is not closely related to foxes. One interesting difference? They lack the elliptical pupils that are a hallmark of true foxes.

As for those "cough cough terrifyingly long legs cough" they use them to navigate and see over the tall grass of their native habitat. Their range covers central and eastern South America, including northern Argentina, South and Central Brazil, Paraguay, Bolivia, and southern Peru. They live in the cerrado, the largest biome in South America, made up of wet and dry forests, grasslands, savannas, marshes, and wetlands.

Lifespan, Predators, and Fun Facts

In the wild, the lifespan of maned wolves is unknown, but in human care, their median life expectancy is around 6.5 years, with a maximum of 12 to 15 years.

Their predators include bush dogs, crab-eating foxes, hoary foxes, pampas foxes, pumas, jaguars, pampas cats, jaguarundis, crab-eating raccoons, hog-nosed skunks, and grisons.

Finally, here’s another fascinating tidbit: the maned wolf is the largest canid in South America! After learning more about them, they still seem pretty scary, but the babies—now they are adorable! It’s just hard to believe they grow into such terrifying-looking creatures.

Final Thoughts

In the end, they may be terrifying on the outside, but overall, I’d say they seem pretty chill. Their scary appearance definitely gives them a bad reputation.

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